Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
