So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
