Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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