How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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