GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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