You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
