Sponge bath it is.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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