So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize