my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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