I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize