if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
