i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
