Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
