Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
