I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I look better un-naked...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
