Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
