Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
