wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
