3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
