I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
