Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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