my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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