He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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