just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize