how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
