Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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