Buhtt sex?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
