don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
