Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize