So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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