And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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