That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
