I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize