i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
