You work out of a Hotel?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
