Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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