ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
