If that was your dad, he is hot
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
