just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
