she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You pole danced in your parka.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize