Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
