white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
