I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
