why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
