i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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