Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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