my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
