the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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