The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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