Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
