Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
