From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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