got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize