how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
