We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
